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Friday, August 8, 2014

MOVIE REVIEW Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
They're Back!  Now At Industrial Strength!  (And Still . . . "Urban")

I Got Ya Girl!  One of the Turtles - I forget which - in Jonathan Liebsman's sci-fi actioner "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles".
Paramount Pictures
       

by
Omar P.L. Moore/PopcornReel.com        Follow popcornreel on Twitter FOLLOW                                           
Friday, August 8, 2014

Cowabunga!  Holy Pizza Hut and Cornbread Palace!  Those four green teen turtles are back on the scene in the Big Apple, hulked up, larger than ever, just in time to save New York City from the havoc of a mad billionaire scientist and gargantuan Shredder in this revamped and new century edition of "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles", directed by Jonathan Liebsman. 

The turtles often sound like the "urban" (read: black)-sounding "Transformers" mini-bots from Michael Bay's metal-fest sequel of 2009.  Megan Fox's presence here as news reporter April O'Neil also recalls that disastrous film.  Mr. Bay is a producer of this "Turtles" reboot, aka "TMNT", which explains the extra noise and destruction that ensues.  You didn't expect this quirky quartet headlining the popular 1990s film trilogy to return quietly, did you?  (Note: In 2007, a film named "TMNT" was released, but isn't connected to the films based on Peter Laird and Kevin Eastman's writings.)

A mutagen that gives these knuckleheaded sewer-dwelling Turtles their strength is coveted by Eric Sacks (William Fichtner), who seeks maximum profits from it.  What's that?  You mean this billionaire wants the farm that is New York City too?  Darn.  Greedy man.  Meanwhile, TV news cameraman Vernon Fenwick (Will Arnett) is enlisted by his would-be romantic target April to help Michelangelo, Donatello, Raphael and Leonardo on their mission to stop Sacks.  The NYPD, busy in all their choke-holding brio, are mainly preoccupied, until the film's home stretch.

As April Ms. Fox faints, dangles, bends over, falls flat, has a bag put over her head -- all things you might see in some XXX-rated affair.  April has to endure all of that and a kick to the body to earn the film's unofficial title of most valuable lifesaver.  She's game for it all, and the filmmakers expose her to the possessive whims of her overwhelmingly male colleagues, villains and crime fighters.  One thing I learned from watching "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles": April has no fear of heights.

Early on, when Sacks tells April his sob story I wanted to, dare I say, LOL.  The film's lines are delivered with such lethargy and detachment that I couldn't help thinking this new "Turtles" effort was a parody of the 1990s more cuddly films, or of Mr. Bay's own weak and boisterous 21st century ones.  At least the Turtles still crack wise, but most of the joke "attempts" ring hollow in a script written by Josh Applebaum, André Nemec and Evan Daugherty.

Pre-teen audiences, from, say, age ten and upwards, will find "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" to be an immense treat.  I enjoyed the film's death-defying high-wire digital stunts and wise-old counsel of Splinter, a giant-sized Yoda-like rat and adoptive father of the green troupe.  Even the 3-D effects weren't a shambles.  Mr. Liebsman's bone-crunching, brooding film isn't great but is surprisingly better than I imagined.  That isn't saying much, but perhaps any sequels following this re-starter (pending box office returns this opening weekend in the U.S. and Canada, of course) will take a cue and try to up the ante.  It's the very least the filmmakers and producers can do.

Also with: Noel Fisher, Alan Ritchson, Pete Plotzek, Jeremy Howard, Danny Woodburn, Tohuru Masamune, Minae Noji, Whoopi Goldberg.

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" is rated PG-13 by the Motion Picture Association Of America for sci-fi action violence.  The film's running time is one hour and 41 minutes.

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